WHAT DO GIRLS SEE IN OLDER MEN?

My husband and I separated over his lust for girls less than half his age (23-24). He described his affairs as his need to “groom” them and for stroking his ego. What do young girls get out of wanting to look twice at a man who’s old enough to be their father? – LC

They’re three women with strong opinions, so don’t expect sugar-coated responses.

Crystelle Hey LC, sorry to hear about your separation, but it sounds like you’re better off without him anyway! I know a couple of girls who are with older guys just because they felt a spark and fell in love. I also know a couple of girls who are with older guys for less noble reasons, eg, it’s all about the Benjamins baby. And yes, I just quoted P. Diddy.

Alice Oh, this is Freud repressed-daddy-issues territory! I’d like to reserve my judgment, LC, considering a) I’m 25 and b) I think there are bigger issues at play, which three office girls can’t fully appreciate without the help of Dr Phil.

Cassie I’m sorry, “groom” them? That’s all I needed to hear. It’s awful to hear about your separation, but that there’s serious creep territory, LC. And I have absolutely no idea what’s in it for these girls. I already have a dad; I don’t need a daddy. Not for all the cash in the world . . .

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AMANDA BYNES REJECTED FROM PRIVATE JET: ‘GOOGLE ME

According to Amanda Bynes, Google is now a valid form of identification. The 27-year-old tried to board a private jet flight at Teterboro airport in New Jersey over the weekend without ID.

Sources told TMZ.com Amanda told the pilot when he asked for her ID, she told him that her license had been suspended and therefore she had no other form of ID.

 

The real Amanda Bynes came out when the pilot told her she was unable to board the flight without ID. She threw a tantrum and ordered the pilot to Google her, screaming, “I’m Amanda Bynes!”

 

MAKING EXCUSES TO STAY SINGLE

I can’t stand it when girls say, “That’s SO funny” instead of laughing (Scrubs), or refuse to do the cheque dance at dinner (How I Met Your Mother). I feel like TV shows are ruining girls for me – or is it an excuse to stay single?

They’re three women with strong opinions, so don’t expect sugar-coated responses.

Alice Maybe your dates won’t contribute to the bill because you spend the whole night quoting TV shows. It’s time to turn off the telly, JR. Seriously.

Crystelle OMG, JR, that’s SO funny, ’cause I have pet hates, too – like when guys are judgmental and shallow.

Cassie Dude, Scrubs jumped the shark years ago. Get some new shows.

Aside

You’re never too old to learn new tricks

You’re never too old to learn new tricks – or to start enjoying the sex you want, whenever you want it. Seduce her into more intimacy with these foolproof bedroom tactics.
1. Persuade her to experiment more.
Strategy: Don’t let your sexual repertoire go stale – take her out of her comfort zone by making her feel, um, comfortable: “The more someone understands something to be a test run, the more likely she’s to comply,” says psychologist Philippa Davies. Whatever new territory you want to explore, sell it as a trial so there’s less pressure. “Suggest things that feed her areas of confidence. And have a ‘softer’ version ready that you can fall back on, so primary negotiations end on a win-win.”
Try this too: She’s most likely to be persuaded by a low voice, delivering 3½ words per second, says University of Michigan research in the US.
2. Get your sex drives back in sync – fast
Strategy: Your busy lives may have knocked your sexual rhythms out of whack. But here’s how the Japanese can help you – and we’re not referring to their propensity for kink: “Apply the Japanese principle of kaizen – tiny steps leading to big changes,” says sexologist Nicci Talbot. “Suggest sex at unusual times, so that it isn’t associated with the schedule you link to refusal and being tired.” The idea is to try new things together to re-boot your libido.
Try this too: Organise dinner with other couples that are close friends and tell them secrets together. It doesn’t have to be sex-related but research shows it generates higher positive feelings from your other half – and boosts overall levels of lust and sexual desire, says a US study.
3. Get relationship issues out of the bedroom
Strategy: Lay the ghost of past conflicts to rest by moving on together. Whether it’s past infidelity or an issue that needs more time to be ironed out, this is a battle to fight remotely. Outline how you feel in an e-mail at work – adding physical distance to a conflict encourages you to focus on the bigger picture, says research at the University of Texas. “Rebuilding a connection must be subtle at first,” says Davies. “Then give her face-to-face time when she’s more relaxed.”
Try this too: Talk about it when she’s calm. A study in Economic Enquiry found that impatient people expect to get more concessions.
4. Show that your fantasies benefit her too 
Strategy: Tell her why you enjoy the sex you do: Convey how it can work for her by seeking out common ground. Knowing what you both like is your “pacifying tool”. Davies also suggests a tactic called “making the cake bigger”. “Suggest change outside your sex life: ‘I want us to do X together once a week.” Presenting your request in light of making the relationship better puts you on much firmer footing.
Try this too: Concede some ground: “Allow her to decide the rules of engagement for trying it your way,” says Davies.
5. Encourage her to take the initiative
Strategy: Don’t be the one making all the sexual effort – provoke her into action now: “Have sex while she keeps her clothes on and you’re naked,” suggests Tammy Nelson, author of Getting the Sex You Want. “It gives her a taste of power and turns her usual role on its head.” And stay affectionate but don’t act on it, letting the tension build. Most women will come forward soon enough. What’s crucial is to let her know you still desire her; avoiding this could end up triggering a cold war.
Try this too: Use abstract vocabulary, says the Journal of Consumer Research. “I’d like to feel you in control.” Not “I want you to take the lead.”

4 Ways to Freshen Your Face

Whether you’re hanging tough or you’ve already abandoned that New Year’s resolution to shape up your looks, there are quick ways to turn back the clock and look younger. Check out these simple tips to put your best face forward at all times.
Refresh your eyes
This is the first place you show your age—or a lifestyle that’s adding years to your look. If you aren’t using an under-eye cream already, add one to your regimen at night when skin gets extra parched, and then incorporate a few of these grooming suggestions into your routine.
Smooth your skin
Flaky, bumpy, and ashen skin don’t exactly suggest youthfulness. Once a week, try a deep-cleaning mask to remove dead cells or just swipe with an exfoliating pad, like Jack Black’s DIY Power Peel Multi-Acid Resurfacing Pads. And see how our pick for the Best Groomed Guy keeps his look fresh.
Whiten your smile
Just as the eyes can reflect late, wine-laden nights, your teeth are windows into your health. In addition to making regular appointments with your dentist for oral health, brighten your smile with a whitener. We like Rembrandt Stain Dissolving Strips.
Clean up your hair
A lot of guys like to hide beneath a beard or some scruff in the winter. Not a bad strategy to keep warm. But make sure you keep the area clean and trimmed—excess hair might suggest that you’ve been lost in the woods for weeks. And of course, just because your razor is on holiday doesn’t mean your ear, nose, and eyebrow hair is as well. Tame those shrubs with some of our favorite grooming tools.

5 Habits You Didn’t Know Were Costing You

ImageEveryone has bad habits. Maybe you obsessively check Facebook while at dinner with friends, arrive late to meetings or interrupt people when they’re talking. Chances are you’re at least sometimes aware of these bad acts. But you might not realize how other habits are costing you actual money. And we’re not talking about a daily Starbucks fix. If you get pleasure out of those lattes, by all means enjoy them.

But some other under-the-radar tendencies can end up sabotaging your financial health, and you may not even realize it.

1. You shop with friends

Shopaholics are typically portrayed by women in popular culture. But at least in one respect, men can out-shop women. A 2011 study, “The Influence of Friends on Consumer Spending,” found that men spend more when they’re accompanied by a friend than when they’re alone, and the effect wasn’t the same for women.

The results of four experiments showed that men shopping with a buddy spent 54% more than men shopping solo, while women spent about the same whether they shopped by themselves or not. The authors posit that the reason for the discrepancy comes from a key difference between men and women – albeit a gender stereotype. Men focus on status and “engage in self-promotion through increased spending while shopping with friends” – in other words, they tend to show off – whereas women are “communion-oriented,” meaning they aim for cooperation and harmony, “leading them to keep their spending under control in the presence of a friend.”

2. You fall for complicated cellphone contracts

You buy a new smartphone; it comes with a monthly usage fee based on data consumed, an early termination fee and a complicated two-year contract. The problem: Many people underestimate how much data they’ll use and end up exceeding their plan limit, while others overestimate their future usage and pay for minutes they never use. Oren Bar-Gill, a professor at New York University’s School of Law, studied pricing misperception in the cellphone market, and found that many consumers choose the wrong plan for their needs.

In a 2009 study, Bar-Gill, author of “Seduction by Contract: Law, Economics, and Psychology in Consumer Markets,” analyzed data on the plan choice of more than 3,500 cellphone users and their usage patterns (how many minutes they talked each month for 20 months). He calculated the total amount each paid for service given their chosen plan, as well as the amount they would’ve paid given their actual usage. Bar-Gill found that more than 65% of users signed up for plans that didn’t fit their specific usage patterns, and based on that data, estimated that consumers lose a total of $13.3 billion annually.

3. You’ve got a credit mindset

Studies going back to 2001 have shown that consumers spend more when using credit cards compared to buying with cash. Two MIT professors set out to determine if research participants would be willing to pay more for an item simply because they were paying for it with a credit card instead of cash. They set up an auction where participants could bid on tickets to a basketball game. The participants who were told they could pay with plastic submitted significantly higher bids – nearly twice as high as the average cash bid.

A 2008 study published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology found that the “more transparent the payment outflow, the greater the aversion to spending, or higher the ‘pain of paying.’” Basically, paying $600 for an iPad in cash hurts more than handing over your Visa. Cash is viewed as the most transparent form of payment; less-transparent payment modes, such as credit cards and gift cards, are more easily spent or treated as play or “monopoly money,” the researchers said.

4. You have multiple bank accounts

Conventional wisdom suggests people should spread their earnings across different accounts to maximize savings. But a recent study found that having more accounts has the opposite effect.

Researchers at the University of Utah and University of Kansas conducted studies that presented 566 participants with the opportunity to earn money across tasks and spend it on different products. The authors found a higher rate of saving among individuals who maintained one account compared with those who had multiple accounts.

The reason? People look for an excuse to spend, and “vague” information makes it easy to justify that spending. Having multiple accounts makes it seem like you’ve got more funds available than you actually do. Having a single account – and one number reflecting your total wealth – makes it harder for individuals to come up with creative justifications to spend.

5. You divide your money into buckets

People tend to separate their money into categories, often based on where the money came from and what its intended use is – this much is for the house, this much for the kids’ college tuition, this much for movies, etc. In behavioral finance parlance, this is called mental accounting – and can make us act irrationally.

For instance, you might have a savings account that earns a paltry 0.4% in interest while keeping a balance on a 14%-APR credit card. You keep the money sitting in the bank even though using it to pay off your balance could save in interest expenses – and ultimately, your total net worth would be the same.

Research conducted by Justine Hastings of Brown University and Jesse Shapiro of Chicago Booth School of Business found a similar effect when people buy gas. The authors analyzed data on purchases of gasoline from a large grocery chain from 2006 through 2009, and found that people bought cheaper, lower-grade gas as if they were poorer than they were. The authors were able to track the participants’ other purchases in the grocery store, and saw that, while consumers scaled back from premium to regular gasoline, they didn’t cut back on orange juice purchases. Consumers saw their budget for gas as distinct from other expenses, suggesting they’re inept at budgeting across spending areas.

Here Are Some Of The Biggest Brands That Make Clothes In Bangladesh

As the death toll in the Bangladesh factory collapse climbs past 1,000 , major retailers that do business in the country are facing calls for accountability.

Deadly factory accidents  are relatively common  in Bangladesh, where government safety standards are rarely enforced.

Foreign companies met earlier this month to discuss improving worker safety, despite having refused to fund safety improvements for factories  just months ago.

Bangladesh has said it will discuss raising the minimum wage from $38-a-month, currently the world’s lowest.

The garment industry in Bangladesh accounts for about $20 billion in exports. Of those exports, about 59 percent go to the European Union, 26 percent go to the U.S. and 5 percent go to Canada.

Below is a list of some of the biggest brands that produce merchandise in Bangladesh:

H&M: Bjorn Claeson, senior policy advisor for the International Labor Rights Forum, told Business Insider that H&M is one of Bangladesh’s biggest buyers. A section of H&M’s website is dedicated to explaining the company’s commitment to improving working conditions in Bangladesh, and the company has also posted its code of conduct for suppliers. But Claeson says retailers need to go beyond that. 

He said: “[Brands]  have codes of conduct for suppliers they audit, which includes basic safety standards. The problem is that brands are not willing to make anything else but voluntary, non-binding commitments to worker rights and health and safety standards. … They are under no obligation to fix the problems, to make the factories safe or to tell workers of the dangers they face.”

Just this week, H&M agreed to a factory safety accord that is legally binding and requires a financial commitment from retailers to improve safety in Bangladesh factories.

Walmart: Claeson names the retail giant as another major buyer in Bangladesh. Walmart hasissued statements about fire safety in Bangladesh and instituted a “zero tolerance policy for unauthorized subcontracting” to dangerous factories. But the company refused to compensate victims of last year’s Tazreen factory fire that killed 112 people. Walmart was among the retailers that met with unions and NGOs last month to discuss improving worker safety.

J.C. Penney: Representatives from the struggling department store were also at the worker safety meeting last month. Joe Fresh clothing that was slated for sale in J.C. Penney stores was found amongst the rubble of the collapsed factory in Dhaka, Bangladesh. The company that owns Joe Fresh has said it will pay reparations to family members of victims.

Benetton: Some clothing from Benetton was also found in the collapsed Dhaka factory. The company initially denied that the factory was producing clothes for the retailer at the time of the collapse, but recently admitted that one of its direct suppliers had subcontracted orders to New Wave Style, which operated factories in the Dhaka building. Benetton’s CEO told The Huffington Post that the company will continue to use factories in Bangladesh.

Gap: ABC News says Gap is “one of the largest American retailers producing clothing in Bangladesh.” Claeson also cited the brand as a major player in the country’s garment industry. The company will be the target of union protests this weekend in the U.S. Gap recently launched a safety program that provides financial assistance for factories, but the company declined to sign a workers’ safety agreement that would have been more binding.

Zara: The parent company of the popular fast-fashion brand also has suppliers in Bangladesh. Inditex, which Bloomberg calls the world’s largest clothing retailer, cut ties with two subcontractors in the country after a factory fire that killed seven people in January. The company joined theBangladesh factory safety accord at the same time as H&M.

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Coming Soon: Photography 101

The Daily Post

Here, we focus on the art and craft of blogging — sharing tips to write more and better, hosting writing challenges to push ourselves and polish our craft, and establishing a space to interact with and learn from others.

Everyone’s “blogging process” is different, from our approach and content to our reasons and goals. For most of you in this community, words take center stage. Yet blogs are very visual platforms, and telling our stories with images is a huge part of the process. Our weekly photo challenges, ever so popular, illustrate this.

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